You won’t know it’s a vampire at first. That’s the point. They don’t hiss or lurk in alleyways. And they certainly don’t monologue. Most look better than you, sound smarter than you and make you feel like the most interesting person in the room.
That’s when you should start worrying.
What Is a Vampire Really?
Not all vampires are the same, but they do share a few core traits: they feed on life—usually blood—and they’re very, very good at getting invited in. Be watchful for:
The Courtly: Old. Polished. Dangerous in the way a loaded gun is dangerous—quiet until it isn’t. They follow rules. They expect you to follow them too.
The Starved: Newly turned or poorly fed. Erratic. Desperate. These are the ones that make the news (when the OHR misses one).
The Socials: Modern vampires who’ve adapted. Nightclubs, private events, curated guest lists. They don’t hunt. They host.
The Leashed: Bound by contract, magic or an organization (yes, including the OHR). Controlled feeding. Monitored behavior. Still not safe.
Basic Nosferatu Etiquette
• Do not invite them in lightly. That old rule still holds more often than not. If you offer entry—home, room, personal space—you’ve given them permission. Some take that very seriously.
• Don’t joke about blood. It isn’t funny. It’s an invitation, a contract or a challenge depending on who you’re dealing with.
• Do not stare at their lack of a reflection. It’s considered rude. If you notice something’s off, pretend you didn’t. Calling it out puts you on their radar.
• Mind your manners. The older they are, the more this matters. Interrupting, insulting or breaking social norms can escalate things quickly.
• They don’t need to kill you. Feeding and killing are not the same. That doesn’t make it safe. It makes it complicated.
How to Tell You’re Dealing with a Vampire
They don’t eat people… food.
They somehow always manage to avoid direct sunlight.
You feel chosen. Not in a good way.
And sometimes? You just know.
If Things Go Bad
You are not the apex predator here. Adjust accordingly.
• Barriers help. Thresholds, running water, consecrated spaces—results vary.
• Garlic, crosses, stakes—results vary. Know your vampire before you start throwing produce.
• Buy time. Conversation, deference, distraction. Survival first, dignity later.
• Call the OHR. This is their lane.
The OHR classifies them as a regulated threat class. They may only inhabit certain territories and must conform to specific, non-lethal rules regarding their dietary needs.
TLDR: Vampires are more interested in social rules than brute force. Learn the etiquette, don’t make yourself interesting and never offer more than you’re willing to lose.
Stay sharp. Stay Unveiled.
—Penny